Humour in arts and in politics

Surreal humour (also known as absurdist humour) is a form of humour predicated on deliberate violations of causal reasoning, producing events and behaviours that are obviously illogical. Constructions of surreal humour tend to involve bizarre juxtapositions, non-sequiturs, irrational or absurd situations and expressions of nonsense.
The humour arises from a subversion of audience's expectations, so that amusement is founded on unpredictability, separate from a logical analysis of the situation. The humour derived gets its appeal from the fact that the situation described is so ridiculous or unlikely. The genre has roots in Surrealism in the arts.

Political satire is a significant part of satire that specializes in gaining entertainment from politics; it has also been used with subversive intent where political speech and dissent are forbidden by a regime, as a method of advancing political arguments where such arguments are expressly forbidden.
Political satire is usually distinguished from political protest or political dissent, as it does not necessarily carry an agenda nor seek to influence the political process. While occasionally it may, it more commonly aims simply to provide entertainment. By its very nature, it rarely offers a constructive view in itself; when it is used as part of protest or dissent, it tends to simply establish the error of matters rather than provide solutions.

Humour in arts

High-class humors using artistic images.


Limerick, oil painting

Limerick, oil painting

#1: Limerick, oil painting

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org

Puppets, oil painting

Puppets, oil painting

#2: Puppets, oil painting

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org

Now What?

Now What?

#3: Now What?

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org

Grand Piano

Grand Piano

#4: Grand Piano

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org


Black Humor

Black Humor

#5: Black Humor

Image source: www.flickr.com/h.koppdelaney

Take a look!

Take a look!

#6: Take a look! ("Adamo, guarda lassù!")

Image source: www.flickr.com/Roberto Rizzato

I wonder what happens

I wonder what happens

#7: I wonder what happens if he wakes up....

Image source: www.flickr.com/h.koppdelaney

Apathy

Grand Piano

#8: Apathy

Image source: www.flickr.com/adholmes

 

 



Political Humour

Low-class humors using sinister words and images.


Black Lives Matter, So Does The Size !

Black Lives Matter can learn a thing or two from successful people like the Kardashians, instead of worshiping losers like Eric Garner, Laquan McDonald and Michael Brown. (Yes, they don't deseve to be killed, but they are not martyrs.) The Kardashians are intelligent, genuinely like black folks, and understand that Black Size Matters. Just look at the size of Civil Right movement and The Million Man March and compare that with Black Lives Matter.

 

Civil Right movement

Civil Right movement, Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream' Speech

Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream' Speech, 1963

The Million Man March, 1995

The Million Man March, 1995

The Million Man March, Washington, D.C., October 1995

The largest Black Lives Matter Protest

Black Lives Matter protest, Mall of America, December 2014

A Black Lives Matter protest of police brutality
in the rotunda of the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota, December 2014

A Typical Black Lives Matter Protest

NYC Rise Up and -ShutItDown for Baltimore

NYC Rise Up and -ShutItDown for Baltimore
Black Lives Matter protest at Union Square, Manhattan.
Rally at Union Square (29th April 2015) on the North Side of the Square (on 17th street) to show the people of Baltimore that 'we stand in solidarity with them and with their resistance because their resistance is for justice and their justice is our justice'.

 

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

One-Year Commemoration of the Shooting of Michael Brown, the Ferguson unrest, and the Black Lives Matter Movement
at Barclays Center, Brooklyn. (9 August 2015)


 

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Next time someone tells you "All Lives Matter," show them this cartoon

Beyoncé's Formation

 

 

Black Lives Matter

The size of Black Lives Matter demonstrations is dwindling and the movement has fizzled. Black size matters. The leaders of Black Lives Matter must find ways to enlarge the size of their supporters.


Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Image source: Multiple sources

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter needs to enlarge its size and invites you to join.

Image source: Multiple sources

 

Black Lives Matter at The University of North Carolina

Black Lives Matter at The University of North Carolina

Black Student Movement localizes "Don't Shoot" campaign
Some of th students are wearing T-shirts with "BSM" logo. If you think they support "Black Size Matters', then you are wrong. 'BSM' actually stands for 'Black Student Movement'.

Image source: www.dailytarheel.com Multiple sources

Black Lives Matter Politicians' Freudian slips

Black Lives Matter Politicians

Black Lives Matter Politicians perform the "Hands up, don't shoot" gesture that has come to symbolize the protests in Ferguson, Mo.
And, subconsciously, reveal their own or their husbands' size.

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org

 

Courageous Black Lives Matter 'die-in' Protesters

Courageous Black Lives Matter protesters

Black Lives Matter 'die-in' protest at Metro Green Line against Saint Paul Police Department police brutality in Minnesota.
Around 100 protesters blocked the light rail line in St. Paul to protest the treatment of Marcus Abrams by St. Paul police. Abrams, who is 17 and has Autism, was violently arrested by Metro Transit Police on August 31, 2015. During his arrest he suffered a split lip and multiple seizures.
The letter A on their sign fell off on the march. On the march back, a small cheer went up when someone found it, and the march paused while it was re-attached. (commons.wikimedia.org)

COMMENT: The courageous protesters carry an 'incomplete' message; it is the 'size' that matters.
What's missing in the 'Die-In' rally is not an "A", but the "Size".

Eric Garner, Laquan McDonald and Michael Brown were 'die-hard' courageous in the sense that they had no fear of armed polices; and they are all dead.
It took an illegal 'choke hold' and four officers to restrain Eric Garner, while he repeated "I can't breathe". Laquan McDonald was shot 16 times. In Michael Brown's case, the Ferguson police fired a total of twelve bullets with at least six shots striking Brown. The sinister legend has it that both of his hands were still way up in the air when he fell to the ground. Common and John Legend wrote a song "Glory" that portrays the famous 1965 Civil Rights Movement's Selma to Montgomery marches. In the music video of "Glory", Common reenacts Michael Brown's 'Hands up, don't shoot' scene and explains why they walk through Ferguson with their hands up. (It's a mistake to elevate Michael Brown's status to that of MLK.) The song won the Oscar for Best Original Song and the Golden Globe Awards (2015). It is also on my list of Best 2015 Songs. You can check it out here.


 

 

Black Size Matters

Americans are keeping up with the Kardashians who are relentless in the pursuit of size. The size of their fans is enormous and the size of their enterprise is gigantic.

Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympic champion

Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympics decathlon gold medal winner

kris's ex-husband, Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympics decathlon gold medal winner.
The Olympics decathlon gold medal winner is no macho man, After the divorce, Bruce has transformed into Caitlyn, a beautiful woman.

Image source: Multiple sources
Image of Caitlyn: #1   #2  

Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble

Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble

Kris Jenner and her new macho boyfriend, Corey Gamble
With additional image of Caitlyn Jenner, who no longer loves Kris.
If Kris is smart, she should keep Caitlyn away from Corey. However, some movie critics, including the legendary Roger Ebert, have predicted that "When Corey met Cathy" will be a blockbuster hit.

Image source: radaronline.com

 

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries wedding

kim kardashian married the tall and handsome NBA player, kris humphries, in 2011.
Kris Humphries is half black. The marriage lasted only 72 days. No kid.

Image source: Multiple sources

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Kim Kardashian is happily married to Kanye West. They have two kids.
Kanye West is the black singer who hates Taylor Swift. TMZ news

Image source: Multiple sources

 

Khloe Kardashian and her men

Khloe and her men

Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian, and Janes Harden
Although he was vastly outnumbered in the brothel, Lamar Odom f*ought superhumanly in the nude until he lost his mind. CNN news

Image source: Multiple sources

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

Kourtney Kardashian has terminated her relationship with extremely handsome Scott Disick.
In order to reach the altar, good look is not good enough. Besides, Scott is a Di - - ck.

Image source: Multiple sources

 

Kendall Jenner

Kendall Jenner

Kendall Jenner denies dating L.A. Lakers star rookie D'Angelo Russell
They're just friends. Well, that's kinda how it starts ... right? TMZ news

Image source: Multiple sources

Kylie and Tyga

Kylie Jenner and Tyga

Kylie Jenner and Tyga
Kylie was expecting something big from Tyga as her 18th birthday gift. Sure enough, Tyga bought her a car that costs $320,000. Oh, Man, That's Big!

Image source: Multiple sources

 

The Kardashians are of Armenian descent. Ever since the massacre of 200,000 of them by the Turks in 1890s, the Armenians have been in no mood for any funny joke. So instead, here is a Polish joke supposedly told by Steve Wozniak, a Polish-American, the Apple co-founder, and a star in Season 8 of 'Dancing With the Stars':
"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?"   

"A new last name".

You may protest that the last name of the joke teller, Steve Wozniak, may be hard but not long.
Well, 'Wozniak' is actually an Americanized short version of original Polish name which is 'Wozniakianjikolenxymirudimentoraxupoqasjawetychovetski'.

Q: Do Polish names always end in "ski" ?
A: No, "ski" is actually a modern day Polish invention, a shorthand for 'szohenghulmanzhukjelhavqodsufaxhi '.

The Kardashian's Polish Connection.
Rumor has it that Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend, Scott Disick, is of Royal Polish blood and looks down upon Kardashians' un-sophisticated 'reality' lives. The believers point to his princely good look and his low intellect, the result of European royal inbreeding, to support their arguments. But the non-believers dismiss the rumor outright because of Scott's short last name. The following story apparently settles the issue. However, it turns out to be an R-rated offensive tale not suitable for the gentle souls. So, the story is retold here in a subtle form and in fine print. It will take a lot of patience and intense concentration, which the minors totally lack, to read the entire story. Here it goes:

Kourtney Kardashian, after having three kids with Scott Disick, decided to have no more. So Scott goes to the hospital and has the vasectomy done. After the operation, Kourtney comes to visit and pays Scott her respect. The male nurse, who regularly changes the dressings, teases Kourtney, "You have one hell of naughty boyfriend in there who tattoos the word 'Dick' on his humanhood". Kourtney is a little bit confused and says, "No, it is not 'Dick'; it is 'Disick', his name". The male nurse disagrees so Kourtney calls out to Scott, "Honey, is that your name you have it tattooed down there?" Scott yells back, "Yes it is, honey, it's my last name." Kourtney smiles triumphantly. The male nurse can't believe it and won't accept defeat. When a female nurse shows up, he asks for her be the judge and to check out the tattooed word. Kourtney agrees. So the female nurse goes inside the private room, carefully checks the hood, and writes down the word on a piece of paper. When she comes out, the male nurse and Kourtney ask, “Is it a 'Dick' or a 'Disick'?” Surprisingly, the female nurse responds, "No, it is neither. Actually, It is a long word that I have to write it down". "Here it is", she looks at the paper and spells out Scott's original last name, "Disghokinjilenxymirudikomchovetewetyantoraxupoqasjaweychovetyick".

There it is and you have the answers! From this story we can comfortably reach at least four conclusions:
1) With that kind of last name, Scott is definitely a Polish descent.
2) 'Disick' is actually an Americanized short version, the first 3 and the last 3 letters, of Scott’s royal family name, which is also his original last name that he proudly tattoos on the most precious organ of his body. (The Disick's royal house motto is 'Never Forget Your Root'.)
3) Scott genuinely likes Kourtney and is happy to see her every time. He is always an exciting 'Disick', not a sleepy 'Dick', to Kourtney.
4) The female nurse must be very, very, very pretty.


Reference: What Nationality Is The Surname, Disick?   alt   Copy  


 

Are Blacks and Whites Equal?

Are Blacks and Whites Equal? Black Size Matters

Blacks and Whites are equal in every way except one.
Seth Macfarlane

Image source: giphy.com

Are Blacks and Whites Equal?

Are Blacks and Whites Equal? Black Size Matters

Blacks and Whites are equal in every way except one.
The beneficiary's perspective

Image source: Multiple sources

 

 

Liberal Democrates vs Consevative Republicans

Trump Wins

Trump wins Presidential Election 2016   Celebrities that will Leave The Country If Trump Wins

Left: Trump wins - He’s hired! Donald Trump is elected 45th President of the United States in stunning upset.
Celebrities Call for Boycott of People Magazine After Glowing Trump Cover Gets Unveiled.

Right: These 23 Celebrities Said They'll Leave The Country If Trump Wins  

Celebrity Reactions to Trump's Win

Snoop Dogg, Rapper and Actor (After Hillary made the 3 a.m. phone call to Trump and conceded on Nov 9, 2016.)
“Worst day in America 9/11. Second worst day in America 11/9.”

Alec Baldwin, Actor, Donald Trump Impersonator and a jerk who says he doesn't hate Trump.
"The billionaire Republican businessman is close to winning the race and world markets are crashing. He's all yours, America. He's all yours."

Chrissy Teigen, Model
“If your ears are burning, that’s everyone in entire world laughing at us.”

Katy Perry, Singer
“WE WILL NEVER BE SILENCED". "THE REVOLUTION IS COMING".

Josh Gad, Actor
“I never thought I’d say this, but boy do I miss George W. Bush right now.”

Piers Morgan, Journalist
“#Revenge of The Deplorables.”

Seth MacFarlane, TV producer
“At least pot’s legal.”

Seth MacFarlane recently attempted to explain why his fellow actors, writers, and producers dislike the president-elect so much. He tweeted: “We’ve learned to recognize the blustery showmanship of a lying con man because we encounter it every day in our business.” Source

Kate Hudson
“Projection update: Xanax and Beta Blocker stock has sky rocketed 22%.”

Andy Cohen, Talk Show Host
“Did we just elect a snake oil saleman and his wicked court of terror or is my Ambien kicking in? or both?”

Jordan Peele, Actor
“I refuse to believe Donald Trump was born in this country”.

Bill Maher, Asshost
Liberals "Cried Wolf" About Bush And Romney And We Were Wrong, "Fascist" Trump Is Different.
I gave Obama a million dollars because I was so afraid of Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney wouldn’t have changed my life that much or yours, or John McCain. They were honorable men who we disagreed with, and we should have kept it that way. So, we cried wolf, and that was wrong. But this [Octopus Trump] is real. This is going to be way different.”

New York Rep. Steve Israel, one of the Democratic Party's top campaign strategists
"Romney was qualified, but he had the wrong ideas. Trump is unqualified, dangerous and still has the 'right' ideas." - (This is how a fake news can be properly done. All you need to do is changing one word and the truth jumps out.)

Bristol Palin, Reality TV star
“Are you packing your bags? 10 celebs who've vowed to leave if Trump's elected - 'Do you promise?'"

George R.R. Martin, creator of popular TV Drama 'Game of Thrones'
“Winter is coming."

Paris Hilton,Socialite
“#Make America Hot Again.”

Anonymous
Make America Love Again. Make America Gay Again. Make America Steak Again.
Make Donald Drumpf Again.

Make America Great Britain Again

Make America Great Britain Again

Make America Great Britain Again

Make America Great Britain Again

Make America Mexico Again

Make America Mexico Again

Make America Native Again

Make America Native Again

Make America white Again

Make America white Again

Make America Hate Again

Make America Hate Again

Make Congress Blue Again

Make Congress Blue Again




Why did Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election?
Because now he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump.
Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation?
Discrimination.

How much is Donald Trump’s life insurance?
Just one Pence.

Donald Trump’s foreign policy:
If you mess with the USA, there’ll be hell toupee.

“Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them 'anxious.' And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them 'Canadian.'”–Conan O'Brien

“At a Donald Trump rally the other night, a supporter shouted out the Nazi salute 'Sieg Heil!' Trump immediately responded, 'There is no place for that here – save it for my inauguration.'”—Conan O'Brien

 

Reactions From The Liberal Media

New York Daily News front cover renames White House under Trump the 'House of Horrors'   Martha Raddatz of ABC News sounded emotional on election night as she provided live coverage of Donald Trump's stunning win.   TYT (The Young Turks Online Program) Election Temper Tantrums 2016   Time names Donald Trump 'Person of the Year'

1. New York Daily News front cover renames White House under Trump the 'House of Horrors'
2. Martha Raddatz of ABC News sounded emotional and appeared to cry over Trump's win on election night.
3. TYT (The Young Turks Online Program) Election Temper Tantrums.
4. Time named Donald Trump 'Person of the Year' on Dec 7, 2016.

Reaction to Trump's Win by Outspoken Celebrities

Leonardo DiCaprio Crying

Leonardo DiCaprio

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

Barack Hussein Obama

Barack Hussein Obama

Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama 2020

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey

Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi Goldberg

Adele

Adele

Bryan Cranston

Bryan Cranston & All Future Canadians

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer

Carrie Mathison

Carrie Mathison (CIA & FBI)

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Environmentalists

Environmentalists

Tina Fey

Tina Fey & Sarah Palin's Haters

Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler

Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman & Nearly All Hollywood Actresses

Tobey Maguire

Tobey Maguire

Justin Long

Justin Long (LGBTQ supporters)

Andy Cohen

Andy Cohen (LGBTQ under attack)

George Clooney

George Clooney

LeBron James

LeBron James

Democratic Party

Democratic Party

Seth MacFarlane

Seth MacFarlane in Shock

Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers & Late-night Comedians

George Lopez

George Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin & All SNL Members

Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin


Katy Perry's Five Stages Of Grieving
katy Perry

1. Denial (This Is Not Happening!)

katy Perry

2. Anger (Damn you Comey!)

katy Perry

3. Bargaining (THE REVOLUTION IS COMING!)

katy Perry

4. Depression (Justice Ginsburg is 83, Breyer 78)

katy Perry

5. Acceptance (Not in Katy's Lifetime)


 

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart

Even the smart alec Jon Stewart can't answer these questions:

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
God Works in Mysterious Ways, Jon!

Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad People?
Answer: Electoral College.



Prediction: Jon Stewart 2020.

 

Mark Cuban

Mark Cuban 2020
'I was dumb enough to think I would be able to talk people out of voting for Donald Trump'
Mark Cuban is right and he may as well speak for all of those outspoken celebrities.
Mark Cuban also said at the end: 'They give President-elect Trump the satisfaction of watching those like me who campaigned vocally against him, bend over, and kiss his ring. Touche, '

Bruce Springsteen   Bruce Springsteen  

Bruce Springsteen 2020
Left: 'The republic is under siege by a moran.'
Right: 'THAT'S WHAT ARTISTS DO. THEY LIE IN SERVICE OF THE TRUTH.'

I come from a boardwalk town where almost everything is tinged with a bit of fraud. So am I. By twenty, no race-car-driving rebel, I was a guitar player on the streets of Asbury Park and already a member in good standing amongst those who “lie” in service of the truth . . . artists, with a small “a.”

 


Celebrities React To Hillary Losing Election.
See it at YouTube

 

 

WARNING: DON'T VOTE (Jennifer Aniston, Leonardo Dicaprio, Halle Berry, Sarah Silverman, ...)

HOLY SH*T (You've Got To Vote)

 

God is silent. Now if only man (especially the celebs) would shut up. ― Woody Allen

There are two types of people in this world, good (liberals) and bad (conservatives). The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. ― Woody Allen

 

Trump Wins

Mexico has just built the wall <i>!</i>   The liberals are busy building the wall.

Left: Mexico has just built the wall. !   Right: The liberals are busy building the wall.  

Donald Trump, feminist's night-mare.   Trump and Obama, Orange Is the New Black

Left: Donald (Octopus) Trump, feminist's night-mare. Where is morning-after pill when you need it?
Right: Orange Is the New Black  

Ann Coulter   Ann Coulter: In Trump We Trust

The Big Winner: Ann Coulter.
On summation of Trump's win, and in agreement with Peter Thiel, Ann Coulter says in the show: "The media refuse to take Donald Trump seriously, but they insist on taking him literally while everyone else listening to him, like me, is taking him seriously but not literally".

Watch Video of Ann Coulter on Trump's Victory (www.youtube.com)

During a speech at the National Press Club outlining his case for Trump, Peter Thiel was asked if he supported Trump’s most famous policy proposals: building a wall on the US/Mexico border and banning Muslim immigration to the US. Here was his response:
I don't support a religious test. I certainly don't support the specific language Trump has used in every instance. But I think one thing that should be distinguished here is that the media is always is taking Trump literally. It never takes him seriously but it always takes him literally. I think a lot of the voters who vote for Trump take Trump seriously but not literally. So when they hear things like the Muslim comment or the wall comment, or things like that, the question is not are you going to build a wall like the Great Wall of China, or how exactly are you going to enforce these tests. What they hear is we're going to have a saner, more sensible immigration policy. We're going to try to figure out how do we strike the right balance between cost and benefits.

Trump Wins

What On Earth Is Happening?   What On Earth Is Happening?

Left: What On Earth Is Happening?   Right: What On Earth Is Happening?

Donald Trump running for president as a Republican   Martin Luther King's quote

Left: Donald Trump said that he was running for president as a Republican. That's funny, because I thought he was running as a joke. --- Seth Meyer. The joke is on you, Seth !
(Note: The image is "Fake News" put out by the smart Liberals. Dumb Amy Schumer eats it up.)
Right: There is a big difference. The pot was illegal then. 

 

Donald J. Trump, The Magic Dragon

Donald J. Trump, The Magic Dragon

Donald J. Trump, The Magic Dragon

Donald J. Trump, The Magic Dragon

Donald J. Trump, The Magic Dragon

The Republican presidential candidates and Democratic presidential nominee think they can defeat and destroy Donald Trump just by telling the truth about him. They use Trump's own words to reflect and thus disclose the dark, sinister, narcissistic, greedy, arrogant, bully, hypocritical, phony, deceitful, sexist, misogynous, sexual predatory, racist, bigoted, KKK, Nazi, psychopathic, criminal, violent, and dangerous sides of the man. Well, they all get burnt, badly, by the toxic words that come out of magic Trump's mouth.
What is going on?
There is a storyline in the "The Dance of Dragons", the ninth episode of the fifth season of HBO TV drama "Game of Thrones':
Shireen Baratheon (The king's young daughter): "Ser Byron Swann wanted to kill the dragon. He polished his shield for a week so that it was like a mirror. And he crouched behind it and crept forward, hoping the dragon would only see its own reflection."
Davos Seaworth (The king's right-hand man): "But the dragon only saw a dumb man holding a mirrored shield."
Shireen Baratheon: "And burnt him to a crisp."
Davos Seaworth: "Thus ending the dragon-slaying career of Ser Byron Swann."
- - - Davos and Shireen share a laugh.
(Ser Byron Swann was a knight burnt to death by a dragon in an ancient war that became known as the 'Dance of the Dragons'.)


“Analysts say Hillary Clinton's plan to defeat Donald Trump involves painting Trump as 'dangerous and bigoted.' She plans on doing this by quoting Trump accurately.”—Conan O'Brien


The Tragedy of Donald Trump

Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”

He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”

Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.
Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”


Presidential Election - Hillary vs Trump

Presidential Election - Hillary vs Trump   The Two-faced Hillary vs The Joker Trump

Presidential Election - Hillary vs Trump   The Two-face vs The Joker, choose!

Two-Face Hillary, Joker Trump and The Batman

Two-Face Hillary vs Joker Trump   Two-Face Hillary, Batman, and Joker Trump

Two-Face Hillary vs Joker Trump   Two-Face Hillary, Batman, and Joker Trump

The Two-Face and The Joker in the Batman movies

Joker, Two-Face, and Batman in the movie 'The Dark Knight'   Tommy Lee Jones vs. Aaron Eckhart as The Two-Face in the Batman movies   Heath Ledger vs. Jack Nicholson as The Joker in the Batman movies

Left: Joker, Two-Face, and Batman in the movie "The Dark Knight"
Middle: Tommy Lee Jones vs. Aaron Eckhart as The Two-Face in the Batman movies
Right: Heath Ledger vs. Jack Nicholson as The Joker in the Batman movies

Note for those who are not familiar with American comics and movies about the superhero Batman:
Two-Face (Harvey Dent) is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics, commonly as an adversary of the superhero Batman. (Reference: Wikipedia Two-Face)
The Joker is a fictional supervillain created by Bill Finger, Bob Kane, and Jerry Robinson who first appeared in the debut issue of the comic book Batman (April 25, 1940) published by DC Comics. (References: Wikipedia Joker (comics) and The Joker (The Dark Knight))  





Q: If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives?
A: America.

The two faces of Hillary

The two faces of Hillary: Public and Private   Hillbilly: Bill-and-Hillary Clinton Hybrid

The two faces of Hillary: Public and Private   Hillbilly: Bill-and-Hillary Clinton Hybrid

The two faces of Hillary   The Two Faces of 'Green' Hillary Clinton

The two faces of Hillary
Left: How can you tell that Hillary is about to lie? Her lips begin to move.
Right: The Two Faces of 'Green' Hillary Clinton. According to Wikileaks, at the same time Hillary Clinton was wooing the support of radical greens, at a behind closed doors meeting with pro-energy unions, she was telling those same radical greens to “get a life”. (Source: wattsupwiththat.com)  

Donald Trump, the Joker

The many facial expresions of Donald Trump   Donald Trump, the Joker

The many facial expresions of Donald Trump   Donald Trump, the Joker  

Donald Clinton and Hillary Trump

Donald Clinton   Hillary Trump

Donald Clinton   Hillary Trump  

 

The two faces of Nixon

Russell Crowe (The enforcer): Maybe they’re both telling the true.
Ryan Gosling (Private detective): What do you mean they’re both telling the truth?
Crowe: I got a friend, right? Secret Service. Worked the Nixon detail. This was after they threw him out of office. Anyway, you know. Nixon’s driving around one day around San Clemente. Just him and a few agents. And they come across this car accident, right? There’s a guy pinned under a car. Anyway, Nixon gets out, runs over to check on the guy, you know, leans down, and Nixon says to him, “You’re gonna be Okay, son. You’re gonna be all right.” And right then the guy dies.
Gosling: I don’t get it.
Crowe: Think about it from that guy’s point of view, Okay? The guy who died. He’s jying there on the ground, staring up the sky, near death, and then former president, Richard Nixon, appears before him and tells him he’s gonna be fine. Now, did he think that’s normal, right, that before they die everybody sees Nixon?
Gosling: You’re expecting an angel and you get Nixon.
Crowe: Exactly. Right?
Gosling: Yeah.
Crowe: It’s the same situation, just a vastly different point of view.
Gosling: So there’s two ways to look at something.
Crowe: Yeah.
Gosling: That’s the point of the story?.
Crowe: Yeah.

 

Tree Trump

Tree Trump: The old elm looks ike Donald Trump
The old elm that looks like Donald Trump

A knarled old elm looks uncannily like Donald Trump
Photographer Jon Rowley spotted tree in field in Glewstone, Hereford, UK. The ivy tree even contains Donald Trump's distinctive quiff and big mouth. He said: 'Perhaps it's a warning about who could become president'.

Tree Hilary

Tree Hilary
Tree Hilary

Working on a weirwood tree from Game of Thrones by Hilary Kauder.

Hillary Clinton's Money Tree

Hillary Clinton's Money Tree

Hillary Clinton's Money Tree

 

 

Gentle & caring liberals.

Gentle& caring Obama, the baby whisperer  Obama in tears

Left: Barack - The baby whisperer.
Right: Obama tearing up in gun control speech on Jan 5, 2016.





Liberal Jokes

O.B.A.M.A (One Big Awful Mistake America)
O.B.A.M.A (One Big Awful Mistake America)
Image sources: Multip[le sources  

Why is it not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama?
In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

Why shouldn't Democrats worry about losing the midterm elections?
Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare.

Did you hear about the new Obama Diet?
You let Putin eat your lunch every day.

What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
Jesus can put a cabinet together.

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Just a little bs and a lot of BS.

Why won't Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.

Why can't Obama dance?
Cause he has two leftist feet.

Some Republicans are saying that President Obama should be impeached.
In response, Obama laughed and said, ‘Two words fellas: President Biden.’

Why won’t Obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving?
Because Vice President Biden will be out of town.

Ex-speaker Nancy Pelosi is debating climate change with Sarah Palin.
I think Nancy will do fine. The debates on climate change always come down to whoever blinks first.

Nancy Pelosi   Tree of Half Life

Staring Contest

Question: 60% of Americans think Hillary Clinton is untrustworthy, dishonest, and many find her unlikable. What can she do to improve her image?
Answer: It's time to visit The Humane Society and adopt a transgender dog that looks like Katy Perry.
Better yet, a transgender dog that looks like Taylor Swift but roars like Katy Perry.
Liberals Worship transgenders, whose time has come. Here is the proof: Liberals Worship Caitlyn Jenner as Transgender “Goddess”. 

Katy Perry & look-alike dog.  Taylor Swift & look-alike dog. 

Tough & cruel conservative

Sarah Palin shot & killed a caribou  Obama in tears

Left:Sarah Palin shot & killed a caribou.
Right: The moment Obama was told that Sarah Palin had shot & killed a migrating caribou. After careful examination, the scientists concluded that the tear was of human origin, not alligator.





Conservative Jokes

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin 

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” (Bertrand Russell)
(Note: Now you know why Sarah Palin and Donald Trump are so tough and, on the other hand, Obama is (thank you) very much indecisive.)

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.” ― Woody Allen

“It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people like Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump), who pays no price for being wrong".

“It would be so simple for Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump) to be wise. She/He could just think of something to say and just say the opposite”.

“Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump) as a leader.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?


Donald Trump jokeDonald Trump hair 

There are so much violence and chaos at his campaign rallies, Donald Trump frequently has to shout, "Everybody Needs to Comb Down".


Donald's saying he wants to run for president and move into the White House. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he has pushed a black family out of their home. --- Snoop Dogg

In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, "I believe in god." But of course The Donald was talking about Himself. --- Jay Leno

Donald Trump said that he was running for president as a Republican. That's funny, because I thought he was running as a joke. --- Seth Meyers

“A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. How far are we going to let this go? It's almost Thanksgiving. Trump is still leading. Next thing you know, he's winning Iowa, then he takes New Hampshire, then he somehow actually becomes the Republican nominee. And before you know it, Hillary Clinton is president!”—Seth Meyers

“Republican hopeful Rick Perry this week compared Donald Trump to cancer. Which really isn't fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.” –Seth Meyers

“By the way, Donald, it's pronounced ‘huge,’ not ‘eyuge.’ Also, it's pronounced ‘I am **** delusional,’ not ‘I am running for President.’”—Seth McFarlane

A new study claims the stress of being president takes three years off your life. So suddenly everyone is thinking of voting for Trump." --- Conan O'Brien

At Donald Trump's rally in Dayton, Ohio (March 12, 2016), a liberal protester, Thomas DiMassimo, jumped the barricades and rushed the stage. Trump's speech was interrupted as the Secret Service agents leapt on stage and formed a protective circle around him. Trump was visibly startled, "I was ready for him, but it's much easier if the cops do it," Trump said. The combative Dimassimo was tackled to the ground and arrested for disorderly conduct and inducing panic. He was later falsely accused by Trump to have ties to ISIS. When asked about the incident, a Secret Service agent explained, "The man is delusional and dangerous, but we still have to protect him."

Few people thought Ronald Reagan could ever become president — but he was elected twice. Few people thought Donald Trump could be a serious presidential candidate — now ... Trump shares Reagan's "passion" for what he believes in. .... Also, Donald Trump regards himself as a visionary. Visionaries? Well, psychiatric wards are full of them.   Reference: 15 Things Trump and Reagan Have in Common

What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won't do.”–Mitt Romney

“The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.” —Jay Leno

“Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman

"Trump is unstoppable. He's like Godzilla with less foreign policy experience." –Stephen Colbert

“Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”—Joe Biden

“Donald Trump said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!”―David Letterman

“Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.”―Bill Maher

“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump is here tonight. Now I know that he’s taken some flak lately. But no one is happier—no one is prouder—to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter: Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”—Barack Obama

“I don't believe that Donald Trump is a racist. He's just pandering to the most prejudiced segment of the country. He's hustling them. [...] None of what he's saying is true. You don't just develop racism overnight on the campaign trail. Racism is embedded deep down in a person's soul. I've looked into that man's eyes. Donald Trump doesn't have a soul.”—Michael Che

 

 

Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr (Epic Rap Battles)

Sarah Palin VS Lady Gaga (Epic Rap Battles)