High-class humors using artistic images.
A man caught a bird, and the bird said to him, “Release me, and I will give you three valuable pieces of advice. I will give you the first when you let me go, the second when I fly up to that branch, and the third when I fly up to the top of the tree.”
The man agreed, and let the bird go. The bird said, “Do not torment yourself with excessive regret for mistakes.”
The bird then flew up to a branch and said, “Do not believe anything that goes against common sense, unless you have firsthand proof.”
And then the bird flew up to the top of the tree and said, “You fool. I have two huge jewels inside of me, and if you had killed me instead of letting me go, you would have had them.”
“Darn it!” the man said. “How can I have been so stupid? I am never going to get over this. Bird, can you at least give the third piece of advice as a consolation?”
The bird replied, “I have been hoaxing you. And now you are asking for more advice, yet you have already disregarded the first two pieces of advice I gave you. I told you not to torment yourself with excessive regret for mistakes, and I told you not to believe things that go again common sense unless there is some kind of firsthand proof. And yet, you just tormented yourself with excessive regret for letting me go, and you also believed that somehow there are two jewels inside of a tiny bird like me! So here is your third piece of advice: ‘If you are not using what you know, why are you so intent on seeking what you do not know?’”
There once was a merchant who had a bird as a pet that he kept in a cage. One day, the merchant said to the bird, “I am going to India on business, the land that you are from. Do you want me to bring anything back for you.”
The bird replied, “Not really, I just want my freedom.”
“No,” the merchant responded.
“OK then,” said the bird, “Can you at least go the jungle in India and tell the free birds over there about me and how I am in a cage.”
So the merchant agreed and complied with the bird’s request when he got to the jungle in India. And as soon as he finished his statement, a wild bird that looked just like his own fell to the ground.
“Oh dear,” the man thought. “This must be a relative of my bird, whose sadness of hearing about my bird’s captivity has caused him to die.”
When the merchant arrived home and the bird asked what happened, the merchant sadly replied, “Unfortunately, when I spoke about you, one of your relatives collapsed immediately upon hearing how you are in a cage.”
When the bird heard this, it too collapsed in its cage.
The merchant thought, “Now the news of his relative’s death has killed my bird!”
Greatly saddened, he picked up the bird and put it near his window. Immediately after he did this, the bird flew out the window and to his freedom.
From a distance, he said to his former owner, “You have been tricked. You thought that misfortune had struck me, but in actuality the opposite has happened. The message of the way I could free myself was sent by my relative through you.”
And with that statement, the bird flew away.
TIRCKERATION TIMES TWO
A man was leading a ram, and decided to take a rest—but as he rest, someone stole the ram.
Upon noticing what had happened, the owner frantically running in hopes of finding it. As he searched, he noticed the thief sitting near a well, lamenting, “What shall I do? Oh My! What shall I do?”
The man went up to the thief and said, “What is the matter?”
The thief replied, “I dropped my wallet into this well, and I don’t know how to get it back. I must get it back—it had one hundred dinars in it. Please, sir, help me retrieve it. If you can, I will give you twenty dinars for your help.”
The man thought to himself, “Well, I lost my ram, which is worth about two dinars, but now I have the opportunity to make 20 dinars. Wow, this is great.”
So the man took off his clothes and hopped into the well. As he was down there, the thief took his clothes and stole them as well.
Two friends encountered each other traveling in opposite directions on a street.
They each asked where the other was going. One said, “To see a woman,” and the other said, “To a religious gathering.”
The first friend said to the other, “Why are you going to go see that woman. Come to the religion gathering—there will be a preacher, and singing, dancing, storytelling, and more.”
The other replied, “You should come with me. I can hook you up with my woman’s sister—she is really hot.”
They both presented their cases, but both friends decided to go their originally planned way.
When the first friend went to the religious gathering, he was preoccupied thinking about what a good time his friend must be having with his woman, and he regretted his decision to come to the religious gathering.
And while the second friend was with his woman, he was preoccupied thinking of how his friend was having fun at the religious gathering and doing a good deed, and he regretted not going with him.
Thus, there is a saying that a person will not give up this world for the other, nor will he give up the other world for this one.