Bipartisan immigration reform bill puzzle


Bipartisan immigration reform bill

Acorn's "bilingual" strategy


If the undocumenteds are allowed to shout in English or in Spanish, Acorn will dispatch a team to the south to coach the underprivilegeds this simple strategy.

Since the hats are distributed randomly, the last undocumented in line, can not gain any information about the color of his own hat based on what he sees in front of him. His chance of survival is 50%.

There is a simple strategy, however, to assure the survival of all the rest of undocumenteds, no matter how many persons are in the line. Since every undocumented can see the hat's color of the person in front of you, he can use a method to declare the right color of his own hat and at the same time alert the person in front of him.

If he has been alerted that his own hat is black, he should shout in Spanish "negro" if the person in front of him also has the same color. If he shouts in English "black" that could only mean that the person in front of him has a hat of opposite color.
If he has been alerted that his own hat is white, he should shout in Spanish "blanco" if the person in front of him also has the same color. If he shouts in English "white" that could only mean that the person in front of him has a hat of opposite color.

So the strategy is simple & easy to remember: Spanish means we are the same and English is exactly opposite.

 

"English only" stratety


Since the hats are distributed randomly, the last undocumented in line, (identified here as #1 since he is the first one to shout) can not gain any information about the color of his own hat based on what he sees in front of him. His chance of survival is 50%.

There is a strategy, however, that #1 can help his fellow travellers and to assure the survival of all of them.

What #1 has to do is to count the number of black hats on all those in front of him. If the number of black hats is odd, he shouts “black”, and if the number of black hats is even, he shouts “white”. Let’s suppose he shouts “black”.

Now #2 also counts the number of black hats on all those in front of him. From the information he receives from #1, he knows that the total number of the black hats that #1 sees is an odd number. If the number of black hats he has just counted is an odd number, he knows that his own hat must be white. If that number is even, then his own hat must be black in order for #1 to see an odd number of black hats. Let's suppose #2 sees an even number of black hats in front of him and shouts "black". He will survive.

Now it is #3 turn. From the information he receives from #1, the total number of the black hats #1 sees is an odd number. Since #2 declares that he wears black hat and survives, then the remaining black hats should be an even number. All he has to do is to count the number of black hats on all those in front of him. If it is still an even number, his own hat must be white. If it is an odd number, it is because he himself wears a black hat.

By using this strategy and keep track of odd/even status of black hats, except for #1, who has a 50/50 chance of being shot, all other undocumenteds can look forward to fulfill their American dreams of joining Democratic Party and becoming union members.

The question is: if this bill tilts heavily in favor of the undocumenteds, why do Rush Limbaugh and his fellow right-wingers also like it ? When Sarah Palin was informed of the bill, she exclaimed: " Is this better than the Death Panel? You betcha !"

The reason is simple. Rush Limbaugh and his dittoheads are convinced that most undocumenteds can only count with their fingers. Democrats were outraged when they heard Limbaugh's comment, but they are also pushing a pro-choice amendment that gives the undocumateds' right to choose the number of the people in a line. The right-wingers have no objection. Say you divide 100 people into 10 groups, then there will be ten people in #1 position and at risk. With a 50/50 odd, five of them will be shot. Five in a hundred is a good number for an average right-winger. Despite her bravado, Sarah Palin has so far only shot three migrating caribous.

 

 

Finally, we have an immigration reform bill that both parties can agree upon !
Now we can all celebrate with a few jokes.

Liberal Democrates vs Consevative Republicans

Gentle & caring liberals.

Gentle& caring Obama, the baby whisperer  Obama in tears

Left: Barack - The baby whisperer.
Right: Obama tearing up in gun control speech on Jan 5, 2016.


Tough & cruel conservative

Sarah Palin shot & killed a caribou  Obama in tears

Left:Sarah Palin shot & killed a caribou.
Right: The moment Obama was told that Sarah Palin had shot & killed a migrating caribou. After careful examination, the scientists concluded that the tear was of human origin, not alligator.


Liberal Politic

Liberal Politic 

Liberal Politic


 

Liberal Jokes

O.B.A.M.A (One Big Awful Mistake America)
O.B.A.M.A (One Big Awful Mistake America)
Image sources: Multip[le sources  

Obama is no drunken sailor
Obama is no drunken sailor
Image sources: Multip[le sources  

Why is it not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama?
In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

Why shouldn't Democrats worry about losing the midterm elections?
Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare.

Did you hear about the new Obama Diet?
You let Putin eat your lunch every day.

What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
Jesus can put a cabinet together.

What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
Just a little bs and a lot of BS.

Why won't Obama laugh at himself?
Because it would be racist.

Why can't Obama dance?
Cause he has two leftist feet.

Some Republicans are saying that President Obama should be impeached.
In response, Obama laughed and said, ‘Two words fellas: President Biden.’

Why won’t Obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving?
Because Vice President Biden will be out of town.

Ex-speaker Nancy Pelosi is debating climate change with Sarah Palin.
I think Nancy will do fine. The debates on climate change always come down to whoever blinks first.

Nancy Pelosi   Tree of Half Life

Staring Contest

Question: 60% of Americans think Hillary Clinton is untrustworthy, dishonest, and many find her unlikable. What can she do to improve her image?
Answer: It's time to visit The Humane Society and adopt a transgender dog that looks like Katy Perry.
Better yet, a transgender dog that looks like Taylor Swift but roars like Katy Perry.
Liberals Worship transgenders, whose time has come. Here is the proof: Liberals Worship Caitlyn Jenner as Transgender “Goddess”. 

Katy Perry & look-alike dog.  Taylor Swift & look-alike dog. 

Conservative Jokes

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin 

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” (Bertrand Russell)
(Note: Now you know why Sarah Palin and Donald Trump are so tough and, on the other hand, Obama is (thank you) very much indecisive.)

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.” ― Woody Allen

“It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people like Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump), who pays no price for being wrong".

“It would be so simple for Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump) to be wise. She/He could just think of something to say and just say the opposite”.

“Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have Sarah Palin (or Donald Trump) as a leader.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Thought for the day:
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?


Donald Trump jokeDonald Trump hair 

There are so much violence and chaos at his campaign rallies, Donald Trump frequently has to shout, "Everybody Needs to Comb Down".


Donald's saying he wants to run for president and move into the White House. Why not? It wouldn't be the first time he has pushed a black family out of their home. --- Snoop Dogg

In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, "I believe in god." But of course The Donald was talking about Himself. --- Jay Leno

Donald Trump said that he was running for president as a Republican. That's funny, because I thought he was running as a joke. --- Seth Meyers

“A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. How far are we going to let this go? It's almost Thanksgiving. Trump is still leading. Next thing you know, he's winning Iowa, then he takes New Hampshire, then he somehow actually becomes the Republican nominee. And before you know it, Hillary Clinton is president!”—Seth Meyers

“Republican hopeful Rick Perry this week compared Donald Trump to cancer. Which really isn't fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.” –Seth Meyers

“By the way, Donald, it's pronounced ‘huge,’ not ‘eyuge.’ Also, it's pronounced ‘I am **** delusional,’ not ‘I am running for President.’”—Seth McFarlane

A new study claims the stress of being president takes three years off your life. So suddenly everyone is thinking of voting for Trump." --- Conan O'Brien

At Donald Trump's rally in Dayton, Ohio (March 12, 2016), a liberal protester, Thomas DiMassimo, jumped the barricades and rushed the stage. Trump's speech was interrupted as the Secret Service agents leapt on stage and formed a protective circle around him. Trump was visibly startled, "I was ready for him, but it's much easier if the cops do it," Trump said. The combative Dimassimo was tackled to the ground and arrested for disorderly conduct and inducing panic. He was later falsely accused by Trump to have ties to ISIS. When asked about the incident, a Secret Service agent explained, "The man is delusional and dangerous, but we still have to protect him."

Few people thought Ronald Reagan could ever become president — but he was elected twice. Few people thought Donald Trump could be a serious presidential candidate — now ... Trump shares Reagan's "passion" for what he believes in. .... Also, Donald Trump regards himself as a visionary. Visionaries? Well, psychiatric wards are full of them.   Reference: 15 Things Trump and Reagan Have in Common

What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won't do.”–Mitt Romney

“The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.” —Jay Leno

“Donald Trump is the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman

"Trump is unstoppable. He's like Godzilla with less foreign policy experience." –Stephen Colbert

“Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”—Joe Biden

“Donald Trump said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!”―David Letterman

“Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.”―Bill Maher

“Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.”―Andy Borowitz

“Donald Trump is here tonight. Now I know that he’s taken some flak lately. But no one is happier—no one is prouder—to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter: Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”—Barack Obama

“I don't believe that Donald Trump is a racist. He's just pandering to the most prejudiced segment of the country. He's hustling them. [...] None of what he's saying is true. You don't just develop racism overnight on the campaign trail. Racism is embedded deep down in a person's soul. I've looked into that man's eyes. Donald Trump doesn't have a soul.”—Michael Che

 

Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr (Epic Rap Battles)

Sarah Palin VS Lady Gaga (Epic Rap Battles)