Anti-Christian sentiment is an opposition or objection to Christians, the Christian religion, or its practice. Anti-Christian sentiment is sometimes referred to as Christophobia or Christianophobia, although these terms actually encompass "every form of discrimination and intolerance against Christians", according to Council of European Episcopal Conferences (CCEE). (Wikipedia)
A man is being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy street.
Suddenly the light turns yellow, just in front of him. He does the honest thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The woman hits the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration and gives him the finger as she misses her chance to get through the intersection.
As she is still in mid rant, she hears a tap on the window, and looks up into the face of a police officer.
The officer orders her to get out of her car with her hands up.
He takes her to the police station where she is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal effects.
He says "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the Choose Life license plate holder, the ' What Would Jesus Do?' bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Born-Again Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."
An Atheist dies and, to his surprise, finds himself met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter reviews the man’s record and tells him, “Well, even though you didn’t believe in any deities, you led a good, moral life. It is especially good that you did so without expecting any eternal reward. So we are going to let you into Heaven.”
St. Peter then assigns an angel to take the Atheist on an indoctrination tour.
During the tour, the Atheist sees Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, other Atheists, and people of all religions.
He also notices a high wall in a far corner of Heaven. When the tour ends, the angel asks him if he has any questions.
The man asks, “What’s behind the high wall in the corner?”
The angel replies, “That’s where we put the Christians. They think they’re the only people up here.”
Three boys on the playground were bragging about their dads. One said. "My dad scribbles a few words,
calls it a song and they pay him 50 bucks."
"Oh, yah. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a poem and they pay him 100 bucks."
"That's nothin'," said the third kid. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a sermon and it takes six people to collect all the money!"
An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.”
The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly ...atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.
“What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.
“What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”
An atheist was rowing at the lake, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted “God help me!”, and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just stopped. A voice from the heavens boomed “You say you dont believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?” The atheist looked up and said: Well, ten seconds ago I didnt believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!
There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, “She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn’t she know there isn’t a God?”
Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying “Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don’t you know there is no God?” But she kept on praying.
One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, “Humph! I’ll fix her.” He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, “You ol’ crazy lady, God didn’t buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!” At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.
When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, “I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn’t know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!”
The Pope took a philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake. As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away.
The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the boat.
The next day at the university, a colleague asked the philosopher if he had enjoyed fishing with the Pope.
“It was okay, but would you believe that guy can’t swim?
Bob the atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a seven-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Bob cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
Bob looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well." said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!. ”
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you. ”
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief. As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces,
Gods voice booms out again: “Okay . . . . . NOW you’re screwed.
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing. One of the boys replied, “This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we’re having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today.”
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie?” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. “All right,” he said, “give him the dog.”
During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning’s executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholicpriest, and a rationalist skeptic.
The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, “I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me.” The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim’s neck. To which the rabbi said, “I told you so.”
“It’s a miracle!” gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.
Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, “I believe in Jesus Christ the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost who will rescue me in my hour of need.” The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward thump! creak! …stopping just short of its mark once more.
“Another miracle!” sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.
Now it was the skeptic’s turn. “What final words have you to say?” he was asked. But the skeptic didn’t hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply.
“Oh, I see your problem,” the skeptic said pointing. “You’ve got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!”
A Christian, a Jew, and an atheist are standing in line to be executed during the French Revolution.
The Christian is first, and he lays down on the guillotine. Before the executioner pulls the lever he shouts, “My god will save me!”. The lever is pulled, and the blade swooshes down, stopping just short of his neck. The executioner, believing a miracle has occurred, figures he can’t kill this man, as so sets him free.
The Jew lays down on the guillotine. Like the christian, he shouts, “My god will save me!”. The lever is pulled, the blade falls, and once again it stops just short of his neck. The executioner, again, believes God is on this man’s side, and lets him go.
Finally, the atheist lays down on the guillotine. He examines the guillotine, finds a rock in the gears, and says to the executioner, “Well here’s your problem…”
I was walking across a bridge one day and I saw a man standing on a ledge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
“Well, there’s so much to live for.” “Like what?” “Well, are you religious?” He said yes.
I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?” “Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”
“Protestant.” “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”
“Baptist.” “Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?”
“Reformed Baptist Church of God.” “Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1789 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, 1915?”
He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915.”
I said, “Die, heretic scum!!” And pushed him off the bridge.
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.
However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man’s job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn’t give him the time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked:”Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn’t even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this? “
And a great voice was heard from above: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!”
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?
Stays up all night wondering if there is a DOG.
One morning, a girl says to her mum, "Does God use our bathroom?"
Her mum replies, "No dear, why do you ask?"
The ittle girl says, "Well, every morning daddy says 'Oh God, are you still in there!"
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”
Man ~ “That’s nice.”
Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”
Man ~ “No, thanks.”
Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”
Man ~ “OK, how much?”
Boy ~ “$250?
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”
Man ~ “Yes, it is.”
Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy ~ “$750?
Man ~ “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy ~ “$1,000?
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “It's Dark in Here”
The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”
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